I feel ashamed about not paying—what should I do?

Answer

A:

Please don’t be too hard on yourself—many people go through financial stress and loan repayment difficulties. Feeling ashamed is natural, but it’s important to shift that energy toward finding solutions instead of blaming yourself. Here’s how you can approach this:

 1. Understand It’s Not Just You

• Job loss, medical emergencies, and rising costs affect thousands of borrowers every year.

• Not being able to pay is a financial situation, not a moral failure.

 2. Communicate With Your Lender

• Avoiding calls or letters only worsens matters.

• Inform your bank/NBFC in writing about your situation. Lenders prefer recovery of dues over dragging borrowers into legal trouble.

 3. Explore Legal and Practical Options

• Restructuring: Ask for lower EMIs, longer tenure, or temporary relief.

• Settlement: If repayment is not possible, negotiate a one-time settlement.

• Moratorium/Deferment: Some lenders offer short-term relief in genuine hardship.

• Legal Rights: If recovery agents harass you, you can complain to the RBI Banking Ombudsman or police.

 4. Focus on Mental Well-being

• Financial difficulty is stressful, but remember, it can be resolved.

• Don’t isolate yourself—talk to family, friends, or a professional advisor.

• Remind yourself: debt is temporary, but life and health are permanent.

Feeling ashamed will not help you need a plan of action. Speak to your lender, explore restructuring or settlement, and use your legal rights if you face harassment. Thousands of people recover from loan defaults every year—you can too.